changed my blogskin. i know the skin is not like me, not anything like me. but heck. its nice and its billabong ! :)

ahh, today was freakish. all the guys except samuel wang got sent out of the class for not doing their essay. got caught by the principal and they got a sound telling off. mikh got into a bad mood and started talking back to mrs peng and all. geez.

anw, mom wont let me stay over at jon's. shucks. i was so looking forward to it. i'll guess i'll just go over early saturday morning to make up for it. yea.

thinking of watching constantine. isabelle watched it and she said it wasnt bad.

i so felt like staying over at someone's house. i felt i needed company other than that of my sister's. like sher or jon. but sher called just now to say that if i had intention of staying over, she wasnt free, as she was staying over at her bf's friday night. shucks shucks shucks.

/+vous ne pouvez pas perdre que vous n'aves jamais eu -`

school sucked because i found out i wasnt gonna be with anyone i knew during the service learning local. it totally sucks man. i'd rather go overseas and be with sher or something. geez.

after school, i went home since there wasnt anything to do. sher called me and yue-ed me out for racing stripes. she came over to use the computer for awhile, and we left about half an hour before the movie begun. we went to watch at bugis. the show was good. i kept eating the popcorn but sher only ate a little. the ice lemon tea tasted funny too.

i just finished the chem project. took me ten minutes since wendy already passed me the info. mmz. hope to get a good grade.

/+vous ne pouvez pas perdre que vous n'aves jamais eu -`

i dont understand it. so many people said i've changed. and there are those who arent say, close to me. people like sher doesnt think i've changed. even so, who doesnt? you want me to change back, but isnt it too late, isnt it inevitable?

weilong sms-ed me. asked about me and bryan. said he heard rumours i was with him. -shrugs. then he told me who'd told him.

at least i found out why isabelle's mad at me today, thanks to shumei. at least i know what to do nw.

stress stress stress !! mom wants me to get top 5 in my class. i can do that, but when it comes to being the top, i doubt my own ability.

but i heard this when i was listening to a sermon. the pastor said this, "when you pray about something, God keeps it in mind. but once you believe you cant do it, the prayer gets cancelled off immediately".

ni yao xiang xin, xiang xin wo men hui xiang tong hua gu shi li, xin fu he quai le shi jie ju

/+vous ne pouvez pas perdre que vous n'aves jamais eu -`

i wanted to update. but i dont want to anymore.

argh! IM SO FREAKING UPSET !!

why is it always me ?!?! whywhywhy !! i dont see it happening to others! what did i do to deserve this kind of stupid treatment ?! what did i do to make you detest me, hate me, abhor me, loathe me, shun me?? did i do something to your ancestors? did i cause your family to have discomfort?

den what? horoscopes not matching? ba zhi not matching? date of birth not matching? or perhaps we're not even fated to be friends, and being friends was a wrong move from the start!

i dont know if you're even bothering to read my diary as the days go by. i dont even know if you're bothered about knowing what happens to me. i think i might as well contract leukemia and die.

i want so much to do something. but jon here, says not to do anything. what should i do? follow my heart, or follow someone else's word?

you still carry the neoprint i took with you. i saw it when xiufeng took it out of your wallet this morning. and when she looked through your school diary, i saw you cover one part of it which was covered with words, and i swear you said that i was looking.

if you are willing to fall out with me cuz of a guy, if u are willing to just throw away our friendship because of a guy, then go ahead. if i hear the word 'yes' from your mouth, then at least i would stop harbouring the hope that we might be friends again.




anw ... fairfield c badminton boys won st. andrews secondary today 3-2. matthew's really proud of them. i heard its a good school and matthew said it was a tought fight. ehs, ms lim going for tmr's match. haha. the boys will be pressurized like crazy man.

/+vous ne pouvez pas perdre que vous n'aves jamais eu -`

i just came back from bryan's place. i like going there. haha. so anw, we spent valentine's day there.

i didnt go to school today. shucks. after chinese new year, it seems like everyday's a holiday. anw, i had this skin allergy thing, so my mom took me to the doctor's this morning. said it was something i was allergic to while at sher's place.

my mom told him about my lethargy and my irregular meals. she asked for a blood check. i was like, what the-? i was terribly afraid of needles. she also told him about how her brother died of leukemia, and she fears its genetic. the doctor said it wasnt that serious, but he would do a checkup if she wanted. i was praying hard she'd say no, but she agreed to 'appease' my dad. -rolls eyes.

when i saw the needle, i nearly fainted. its so big !! it was rather painful, but not as painful as i had expected. it hurt like mad afterward.

the plaster was irritating me, so i ripped it off only to regret it. the stupid underside was incredibly sticky. so nw i have small patches of broken skin along the hole where the needle went through. they said i'd probably get the results tmr. *nervous*

joel called me when i was over at bryan's. he asked if i was free tmr to watch a movie at orchard. so ya, im meeting him tmr. good lahz. its been so long since i've seen him considering i didnt go to church yesterday.

/+vous ne pouvez pas perdre que vous n'aves jamais eu -`

MY MOM DOESNT ALLOW ME TO GO TO CHURCH TMR !!

she said i couldnt possibly go to church in my 'condition'. she was referring to my swollen hand and forearm. i had discovered that it was swollen when i woke up this morning at sher's place. probably some skin sensitivity.

she wants me to go to the doctor tmr. but its sunday. i doubt any clinic's open.

its not that bad wadd ... its just slightly swollen. i joked, saying maybe i had contracted dengue fever. lol. she didnt think it was funny though.

duno wads my dad's problem. come back with a black face and start nagging about my schoolwork. arent i doing fine in school??... i pass my tests [except chem lah, but im catching up on that one] and i've no homework or tests to study for whatsoever. dont only pick on me lah.. [i've got dengue fever okay.. =PpP]

/+vous ne pouvez pas perdre que vous n'aves jamais eu -`

dad's nagging about my meals again. but he made me realise that all i'm eating is one meal everyday. on weekends, that is. i never realised i was eating that little. geez. no wonder i was always feeling tired.

see, bryan? i'm not sick yea. i just dont eat enough to last me the whole day. yea. so i dont need a checkup at sgh right? yar so dont say im sick anymore.

i dont have the energy to face tmr. its going to be a long day for me.

heyy, zQ msg-ed me. first time. lol. it was always i who initiated the conversations. good good. at least i needn't worry about disturbing him anymore.

im boredd. and tired. i think i'll hit the sack early today. tah. nite all

/+vous ne pouvez pas perdre que vous n'aves jamais eu -`

there's like, four plasters on my hands. three on my left one and one of my right one. i look ridiculous lah, and gab said i looked like i just came out of the hospital. well, i'd most probably be doing that soon, thanks to my parents suspicion that i have asemia. i dont really know the real spelling. but its something to do with lack of blood.

i put the plasters on my hands because i have this annoying rash that wont go away. so as to prevent me from scratching, i put the plasters there. my mom thinks its stupid but hey, it works. but i look like i was on the same bike as sherlyn when she rode it into the river.

anyone has something to stop rashes ???

/+vous ne pouvez pas perdre que vous n'aves jamais eu -`

i was supposed to stay over at sher's. like some sort of getaway from my home. all i hear is yelling anw. so why stay at home when i can stay at sher's. i was like, outside with my bag and all, and my dad called me and said all sorts of things.

he said i acted like i was older than him, and that i was very quiet and kept everything to myself and that i didnt trust him. i didnt say anything. even if i did, he wouldnt let me say it anw. so why try. i just let him rant thinking nothing would be affected except maybe my mood.

then he told me to go back and talk about it. i was like, shit. i already promised sher lah! then he called again saying my grandma had told him about two fairsians getting caught by the police. he thought i was involved in crime !! i was like, you must be joking. my own dad! i cant believe it.

when i went home, my sister, mother and grandma all asked me what i was doing at home. i didnt bother to reply and just pointed next door. he always spoils my fun. okay lah, its probably for the good of me, but he shouldnt be thinking to the extreme of my problems being involved with crime and the law right?

today was a great day. and one phone call ruined everything. thanks, dad. you rock.

/+vous ne pouvez pas perdre que vous n'aves jamais eu -`

i slept for awhile when i was waiting for a call or sms or wadever. the connection of the whole house was down and i got really frustrated. i couldnt go online or use the net. then i retreated into my room and i slept for a couple of hours.

when i woke up something made me upset, and i turned to sher. she told me to go down to tiong to talk about it. i met her and i poured everything. she consoled me and we sort of had a good talk together. i rarely get the chance to talk to her heart-to-heart. you know, just talking and joking. i enjoyed today very much. i seldom get to spend some time talking to her.

my dad sent me an sms asking if i was okay. he acted like i was sinking into depression or something. but anw, i went to a flower shop and bought three carnations for my mom. i went home and gave them to my mom. at first i thought it was rather extravagant but when i heard that thank you i knew all of it was worth it. it was my first time doing this sort of thing. i think my dad got a shock when he saw the flowers because he thought i went to pator. wahaha.

anw i gtg. seeyuhs.

/+vous ne pouvez pas perdre que vous n'aves jamais eu -`

i read bell's diary. she mentioned her true friends. but i didnt find my name there.

thats great. thats just great. when something goes wrong and i need someone, the only person i have is sherlyn. i used to have so many people i could turn to. and i just lost two today. i dont want to pray to God. i know its ridiculous, but i just dont want to think about it.

so now what jon? you said everything was fine. think again.

/+vous ne pouvez pas perdre que vous n'aves jamais eu -`

first thing dad asked me this morning was whether i hated him or disliked him. i guess i gave him that mentality because we dont really get along these few days. he's always nagging on my eating habits and i'd get really annoyed with him.

and dear ol' sherlyn agreed with him. whats the big deal about missing a few meals? you wont die as long as you hav water .. but anw, i guess he must've been hurt about how i've been treating him. you know, putting on a less-than-happy face when he comes home, either nodding or shaking my head in reply or giving one-word replies.

i think the rash i had last novemeber or december is back, becxause i saw traces of it at the bottom of my left thumb. eeks. i hate the stupid rash. kept me up for nights. its not as if i dont have my insomnia to keep me awake on sleepless nights. and the rash is ugly too.

the entry before this is by gaby btw. you can tell by the way of writing and the words used. and my mom's nagging about going to eat again !! argh..

/+vous ne pouvez pas perdre que vous n'aves jamais eu -`

heys ..gaby just made a tagboard for me ..yay ..cos im too dumb to know how lar ..know u understand .. =D so ..a MILLION thanks to her ..

/+vous ne pouvez pas perdre que vous n'aves jamais eu -`

blogger took a long time to load. there must be some bug in my computer.

i'm going to acsi tmr with sher to watch the B boys play against this school. he was confident fairfield would win, and we decided to go there and give the team some support. but i guess the three of us would end up talking instead of rooting for fmss. and i just realised that joel goes to acsi. am i slow or what?

something happened at recess which made me a little upset. but they dont give a damn about it. so i guess its not really worth worrying about. but i am worried about sherlyn though.

isabelle said i was dao today. and when i asked her a question, she didnt reply and went offline a few minutes after. haii. she always does that ..

i think gab's sick. she slept for a few hours after reading a book. and she woke up sneezing. poor thingg.

/+vous ne pouvez pas perdre que vous n'aves jamais eu -`